Stranded in Jersey

19 11 2009

I’m stuck in Jersey, Channel Islands waiting for a break in the weather to get our yacht across to the Canary Islands and ultimately, some sunshine.

But there aint much to do in Jersey, unless you’re a banker, in which case you shuffle rich dudes’ money around and try to stay warm. It’s extremely dull here.

supercrew

supercrew

There are 6 of us escorting a 75ft Hoek sloop to warmer climes, including my pals James and Jodie who have spent the past 8 months in Lymington, UK, overseeing an expensive and time-consuming keel repair. In that 8 months, they’ve sailed a grand total of 110 miles on ol’ Braveheart, from Lymo to Jersey and that’s it.

Daily we scour the weather reports for any break that will let us flee these northern waters, but we were around 2 weeks late getting out of the UK and with each passing storm, the European winter edges closer. Got. To. Leave.

The English owner had planned to compete in the ARC, a leisurely cruisers’ race from Gran Canaria to St Lucia, but delays in the shipyard and now the weather have seen us miss the start this week.

Eventually he plans for James and Jodes to pilot his fine yacht thru the Panama canal and onward thru the Pacific next year, but that’s only if we ever get out of Jersey.

If Jersey were a little more interesting it might be ok, but it suffers a weird lack of identity – an odd combination of English high street / nouveau financial hub / provincial French seaside village.

ask for maryanne

gorey castle jersey

ruins at elizabeth castle

st helier's house





Bestival

12 11 2009

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Along with the promise of being permitted to clean out the shit tanks on James’ new yacht, part of the lure that drew me to the UK in early September was that of Bestival.

Last of the season amongst the country’s ‘big’ festivals and long raved-about by my music-loving mates, Bestival is eclectic, manageable, close by and a complete fuckin’ hoot.

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there were a lot of BenderBots but this was the best

The location just across the water from my new home in Lymington made it too easy to roll in there on the Thurs night

And with just 35,000-odd people attending across the weekend, it was simple to get around.

Four days of glorious sunshine didn’t hurt either. As anyone who has attended an English festival will attest, it’s the weather that makes or breaks em’, but we rocked sunglasses rather than Wellington boots.

Most of the acts were dance-based and there was no true headliner, but this simply meant we could stroll from stage to stage without too much of a schedule, taking in plenty of tasty unknown bands and djs.

Soulwax blasted an amazing set at sunset on the Friday with screaming electro rock on the mainstage and we caught their ‘other’ band 2ManyDjs in the big top – amazing mash-up dance rock and all new material. Insane.

fuzzpeach

Kraftwerk were visually impressive but fairly dull, while Massive Disappointment, sorry…Massive Attack, were simply rubbish,

The Secret Disco [hidden craftily in the same spot as last year] provided a swag of the weekend’s highlights, mostly from unknown

dance acts such as A1 Bassline, Annie Nightingale and others. Top stuff.

As an added bonus, 2009 meant space- theme dress-up day on Saturday so we were treated to around 20,000 nutters wandering about as aliens, robots, space cops, Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie, Kevin Spacey [geddit?] and even a space bar off a keyboard.

Cheers also to the photog whose pics I’ve used. Sorry I’ve lost your website address – let me know and I’ll credit it immediately.]

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tent





Vermont

9 11 2009
pond glass

glassy ponds

Before fleeing the US once and for all, I convinced Niko to steal the keys to his father’s ski condo in Vermont for some forest fun as fall approached.

Smart move – that place is tops.

The Stratton mountain resort was just four hours from New Bedford, which also allowed us to stop past Kelsey’s college house and check her mouldy apartment.  Summer tip: leave the de-humidifier on when you go home for holidays.

Once we’d finally found ‘Rising WASP Lodge’ or whatever it was called, we settled into the serious business of getting drunk before taking on the mountain next day.

And it’s quite a mountain. Stratton rises 1200m from sea-level, but a glorious morning had us sweating up the summit in around 2hrs.

up stratton

taking a little break

The weather played the game all weekend allowing us to revel in the green, red, greenery of New England in the fall.

A few misguided trees were even showing orange-gold foliage in early September, pointing to the ridiculous palette of colours that must burst forth in fall proper.

It was a just a super-nature-getaway all weekend long.

canoe island

island of ben

kels canoe

captain kelsey

Vermont is an outdoors paradise even in summer (moreso?) offering mountain biking, hiking, canoeing, fishing and all that good stuff. We revelled in it.

We also narrowly avoided a Blair Witch-style night in the woods caused by a combination of poor navigation, lack of maps, an excess of spliff-breaks and aimless blundering in the wrong direction, but it turned out alright in the end. Barely.

susp bridge

found ourselves a suspension bridge





mexican photo business

22 09 2009

shots from a fabulous country.

mex lomo doors

'downtown' beach. puerto

'downtown' beach. puerto

"who wants an alcoholic kid?" - i love the happy skull.

"who wants an alcoholic kid?" - i love the happy skull.

LOVE the taco girls

LOVE the taco girls

monte albarn ruins. excuse the crap stitching.

monte albarn ruins. excuse the crap stitching.

now THAT'S a stacked bbq... check the smiles.

now THAT'S a stacked bbq... check the smiles.

mex fence

colourful oaxaqueno church addition

colourful oaxaqueno church addition

a lot of volkswagens in mexico. rad.

a lot of volkswagens in mexico. rad.

mex oaxaca mkt

monte albarn -aztec ruins near oaxaca

monte albarn -aztec ruins near oaxaca





Mex2: Chacahua y Oaxaca

22 09 2009
cruising thru the mangroves en route to chacahua

cruising thru the mangroves en route to chacahua

chacahua overview from the lighthouse

chacahua lineup

Cha-Cha-Chacahua

Walk 10 minutes to the collectivo taxi.

Hop a cab to Rio Grande.

Public bus to Zapotolito.

Fishing boat thru the mangroves to the rivermouth.

Bienvenido a Chacahua.
Chacahua is where I go to get away from the hectic pace of Puerto Escondido.

A national park situated on a thin strip of palm-strewn coast, the ‘town’ is best accessed by boat which dumps you right at the entrance to the tidal lagoon – clear waters filled with boas, crocs and more.

It’s also home to the hollowest, funnest, least-crowded right-hand point break I know of, and it’s offshore ALL DAY. Dios mio.

right-handers over sand. fun, much?

right-handers over sand. fun, much?

This year did see a few more people (fleeing the comp also) and funky banks, but warm water barrels in board shorts with a bunch of your mates while Mexican fisherman zip past thru the rivermouth still takes some beating.

The sealife there is incredible – turtles bobbing round the lineup, schools of baitfish being harassed by seabirds all day every day, long toms (big garfish) apparently spearing the odd local in the neck. Nuts.

Swim across the river and walk round the cliffs and there is also 50-odd kms of beachbreaks to explore, usually bigger and less perfect, but absolutely deserted.

When it’s flat, it’s hotter than hell and dull dull dull, but we raided some the fish market for a bbq, climbed some hills, had some fun.

One of my fave spots in the world.

our barbeque crew - aus, finnish, hawaiian, polish, venezuelan. ha!

our barbeque crew - aus, finnish, hawaiian, polish, venezuelan. ha!

Oaxaca City

There’s a lot to like about Oaxaca.

For one thing its 1500m elevation makes it nice and cool, and thus easy to trot around during the day.

It’s also pretty compact and simple to negotiate using the many churches as landmarks – easy to spot as nothing in town is built more than two stories high – earthquakes!

mex kidThe state capital is an artistic hub for the many creative types in nearby villages so art cafes and galleries abound, alongside the usual random street processions and brass bands that seem to spring up everywhere in Mexico.

The city itself was founded by Spanish settlers not long after Cortes’ conquest but there are ruins nearby at Monte Albarn and Mitla, dating back to about 500AD.

I also discovered the world’s maddest antique shop, a dusty maze of crazy artworks, ancient wooden masks, mouldy books and a couple of bowling pins. Too good.

shoeshine dudes, oax.

shoeshine dudes, oax.

Poetas de la poes.

On the second night in Oaxaca I headed out with Jesse and a bunch of his mates from Spanish school (the teachers, fortuitously).

We hit a cool-looking café that was hosting a ‘jam night’, but just two songs in, it became apparent there would also be some poetry reading. Fuck.

The first twat, sorry, poet, was more than a little obsessed with sex, so I learned a few choice erotic terms, although even the Spanish maestros said his poems made little sense.

At least he projected his word-porn on the wall so I could read along.

Next up though, were a procession of floppy-haired 40-something pseudo intellectuals who had the audacity to read from various books.

Now, I’m no poetry-reading expert, but isn’t the idea to present your own work?

Any fool can get up there and read some Keats or a bit of AB Patterson.

Needless to say there wasn’t enough Indio beer in all of Mexico to make me enjoy the experience, even if I were somehow able to understand these chumps.

It did remind me of when I attended an algebra class in Laos – vaguely interesting for about eight seconds but ultimately kind of stupid.

i would have happily purchased every item in this amazing store

i would have happily purchased every item in this amazing store





Mex1: the hidden port

28 08 2009
tube hunters

tube hunters

Random bits and pieces from a trip to Puerto Escondido, Chacahua and Oaxaca. Because I can’t be bothered writing a coherent, flowing account.

lambs to the slaughterInbound trip by the numbers:

Hours spent waiting for taxi in Boston = 0.75

Hours spent waiting to check-in at Boston airport = 2

Hours Boston flight was delayed due to fog = 2

Hours spent stuck in Houston due to missed connection = 21

Hours spent enjoying Houston = 1.5 (bought a sixpack).
Electrickery

One of the funniest moments occurred one evening when we headed out for a meal between torrential monsoon showers.

After dodging along under various awnings to reach our chosen spot, Dave ordered, then ducked off to the ATM for some cash.

At this point it was still pouring and none of us were wearing shoes. Dave soon returned, looking a little shaken.

Apparently he had stepped off the sidewalk into a puddle and felt his leg start to spasm. He then stepped in with his other foot which also gave way, before he realised he was being electrocuted.

After staggering clear of the killer puddle, he collapsed on the street and turned to see nearby shopkeepers not running to help, but falling over themselves with laughter.

We wore shoes a bit more after that.

heaven on a stick

heaven on a stick

Paleteria

Now, I just don’t think I could get by in Mexico without the Paleterias.

Forget the Cervecerias and even the Taquerias – Paletas win.

Here, the sweaty tourist can find ice-cold fruit drinks and fruity popsicles (paletas) in all manner of weird and wonderful tropical flavours, each for around a buck.

Coconut and cinnamon milk-drink was my preferred beverage and when it comes to the popsicles, well…mango is pretty good, as is lime, fresh coconut ain’t bad, but the king of the popsicles is guyanabana.

I don’t even know what it is, but it tastes great and it’s also fun to say.

Puerto proper

Now, when you book a surfing holiday to some exotic locale known worldwide for its thumping surf, it may pay to check who else is in town that week.

Somehow I had my two-week break coincide with the waiting-period for the 3-star Quik WQS comp in Puerto this year, a mistake I hope never to repeat.

The extra people in town were kind of fun. But when those same extra folk are 100 or so of the world’s best up-and-coming surfers, it’s less fun.

Those fuckers were all over everything that broke, from 3ft windswell to double-head closeouts and Puerto isn’t a wave where you want to be pushed into a less-than-favourable take-off point.

It’s still a great town though, heaps of fun travellers, cheap eats, cold beer, happy locals.

Ahhh Mexico, how I love thee  – let me count the ways…

flat day fun

flat day fun





The Beacon

28 08 2009

While recently browsing the wall of retired cameras that came with our apartment, I stumbled across one humble looking fellow who looked as if he might still work.

the fantastic plastic 50s Beacon

the fantastic plastic 50s Beacon

A little digging around  online confirmed this vintage snapper as a Beacon 225 – a stylish Bakelite plastic creation from the 50s, and still in perfect working order. Sweet!

Not only is it a med-format point-n-shoot (crazy in itself..),  you also have to pull the ‘lens’ out from the body before shooting. Ha!

After a bit of work with a pocketknife I was able to wrangle a roll of ‘modern’ medium-format film into the beast’s innards, and I set off for NYC, confident the muggers there would not bother stabbing me for anything less than a digital Nikon D90.

The pics weren’t bad,  I double-exposed a bunch on purpose and a bunch more because I am a moron, but that’s the fun of it, right?

New Bedford house and ...Brooklyn bridge. whoops.

New Bedford house and ...Brooklyn bridge. whoops.

nyc upview

NYC

croquet is so stupid. lawn bowls, now there's a sport.

croquet is so stupid. lawn bowls, now there's a sport.

this one was intentional.

this one was intentional.





staying out of trouble

13 08 2009

When I tell people I’m in New Bedford on holiday, they usually look at me sideways before asking why i didn’t go somewhere a little more exotic

What they don’t realise is that immersing myself deep within the strangeness of small-town New England, is exotic for this Australian boy.

I work twice a week, tops, for tips.  I go to the beach and read magazines, I walk down the street for taquitos at No Prob, I wander round town shooting pics of beat-up buildings and fishing boats. It’s a holiday. More or less.

What it also does is provide me time to do some writing, a neglected pasttime in recent years and one which I truly enjoy, if I find the time to attack it properly. But I’ve had time and I’ve done some writing.

Matador

Before you set foot out your door and head anywhere (yep, even your hometown) bang the destination into Matador’s search box and see what folks there have to say about it.

Matador is an incredible community of cluey, worldly, open-minded travellers who also like to write.  Every week I find amazing, gripping, well-crafted stories on there, covering everything from The World’s Best Nude Beaches to What To  Do When Your ESL Student Has A Crush On You.

And I can count myself among their tribe. See a piece on WA highlights here and another on sailing the world here.

scenes like this make me physically homesick. 3 Bears.

scenes like this make me physically homesick. 3 Bears.

While i was writing the WA article I came across an hilarious story explaining Australia to foreigners on BBC’s site. “Do not under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of  Australian beer.” Check it.

Thanks also to talented Danish photog Flemming Bo Jensen for letting me use his outrageously good pics of NW Aus.

Flemming Bo goodness. The essence of the Kimberley.

Flemming Bo goodness. The essence of the Kimberley.

Lost At E Minor

Raiders of the lost art.

The LAEM crew are either incredible at managing their time, unemployed, or have desk jobs that require them to do nothing. This is the only explanation  for the wealth of new talent and previously-unseen beauty that they uncover.

Dedicated to unearthing ‘new art’ Lost At E Minor brightens up the glummest day by showcasing the fresh, the new, the inspired and the downright weird, from across the globe.

They’re simply awesome and now I write for them too.

PS – this update was made possible by being stuck overnight in Houston on my way to Mexico. On my birthday.

Fuck Continental Airlines and fuck you too,  Houston.  Texas…good grief.





United States of Strange. Part 3: A Trip to the Feast

6 08 2009

‘Are you gonna be here for the Feast?’

‘Have you heard about the Feast?’

‘Only one week til the Feast…’

This is all I have heard from the New Bedfordites since arriving at the start of June.

The Feast of the Blessed Sacrament has been running 95 years and purports to be — among other things — the largest Portuguese feast in the world, and to hold a record for the most wine consumed per square foot, anywhere in the world.

No one seems to know exactly what it celebrates; a festival of Madeiran culture seems to be the popular answer.

But if this is Madeiran culture, I can only advise you stay the hell away from that particular island.

Cardoza looks for a fire pit to sear his meat

Cardoza looks for a fire pit to sear his meat

Despite the vaguely religious title, the Feast involves thousands of people crowding into the Feast Grounds (a park which remains empty 361 days a year), and getting absolutely hammered on cheap wine and beef.

But that sounds right up Ben’s alley, I hear you say.

Yeh, kind of, but this one was a bit of a letdown after hearing the hype for the past three months.

and you wonder why kids are scared of clowns?

and you wonder why kids are scared of clowns?

I guess it’s fun for locals to catch up with their mates if they can push through the crowd, but one night of having my feet stepped on and overproof Madeiran wine sloshed all over me was enough. It goes on for four days…

There are also fights all weekend, grabbing girls’ asses is considered fair game by the throngs of teenagers and they don’t serve wine in bottles anymore after someone was killed a few years back.

Classy, right? I call: Hoax.





United States of Strange. Part 2: Life Downtown

6 08 2009

As I mentioned above, New Bedford is wearing a little thin.

People here are just…odd. Not all of them, but there is definitely an epicentre of weirdness here downtown, centred not far from our door.

One visitor asked if there was a methadone clinic nearby, which gives you some insight as to the type of folk who inhabit our doorstep.

Neck tattoos are also popular among the downtown crowd, men and women alike.

fishermen are among the more sensible NB inhabitants

fishermen are among the more sensible NB inhabitants

Many of the shops close to home are vacant, as are nearby malls and whole villages. It’s kind of sad, but also creepy and rundown – you wonder what the future holds for these little burbs.

There’s no Main Street, USA – just a loose collection of whale-themed giftshops, restaurants, newsagents and galleries scattered here and there and not nearly enough good bars.

The bus-station is a preferred hangout for the strangest of the townsfolk, a confusing mix of white guys who think they’re black and black guys trying to look like wealthy white guys.

Incidentally, does anyone know why the current gangster fashion involves dressing like toddlers?

T-shirts that come down to their knees, brightly coloured trainers and baseball caps cocked down over one eye. They look like giant five-year-olds escaped from kindy. Fuckin’ peanuts.